bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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