What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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