absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just google imaged poop.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
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