I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
