I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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