Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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