I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
