My brain says no but my pants say off.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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