We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My vagina is very pro this idea
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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