I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
