Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize
