I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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