he shaved USA in his pubs
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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