This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
