I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
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I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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