Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
