so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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