I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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