He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
