I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
