I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
