did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
