Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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