i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
