Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
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