CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
