Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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