i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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