help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize