so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
