you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
