ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize