IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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