Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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