And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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