He is an equal opportunity slut.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
