She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
