So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
vagina is talking i cant
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
