I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize