Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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