Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
