We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
