she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
