My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
