he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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