Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
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