I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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