you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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