i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
