My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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