I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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