There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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