He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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