But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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