Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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