i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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