Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
