i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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