i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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