he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You need a sexual gate keeper
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
