I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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