week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
