i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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