ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
