I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I deserve this hangover.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
