K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
