Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
