I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
