Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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