Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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