I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
