She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
